Being an adult is nothing like I thought it would be
When you’re young, you are so freaking excited to grow up. You can’t wait to eat what you want, do what you want, sleep when you want and buy whatever you want. Well, just going off that sentence; I want a dietician to tell me what to eat, half the time I’m too broke or don’t have the time or means to do what I want, insomnia is definitely a thing, and being a recent grad, I can most definitely not buy whatever I want.
But stepping away from the idea of getting what you want easily as an adult, another thing that I am confused/scared/irate about is that when I was younger, I assumed that I would know things that I needed to. Like how taxes worked. Or car insurance. Or health insurance. Or credit. Or planning a wedding. Or absolutely anything! When I was a teenager the goal was 18. By 18 I will know how to do all these adulthood things. Not. So when 18 came and went, it was by college graduation I’ll know how to be a real grown up. Again not so. What I’m quickly realizing as a post grad is that most of adulthood is trial by error, and at the beginning there might be a lot of errors.
Even making friends as an adult is something I’ve been failing at. I tried using tinder to meet locals on the island to show me and my friends/coworkers/roommates around. (And yes I know it’s a dating app and that I’m engaged, but there aren’t many “let’s just be friends” apps, and Michael was ok with it so :P). Through that experience, I learned that most men on tinder do not look at the girl’s bio (where it clearly said I had a partner), I was berated by horny men, and asked to be part of a threesome. So yeah, that adventure ended before it even started.
On a completely different tangent, Michael and I have begun the wedding planning process. We’ve picked a date and have our eyes on avenue that I love, and have no idea where to go from there. The internet is helpful, don’t get me wrong, but I still feel like a little kid asking wedding venues questions. The fact that I have no idea what I’m doing with me being relatively young for a bride these days makes me feel like a four year old who accidentally got ahold of a ring and that everyone’s humoring me and smiling at me as if I’m the cutest toddler. So yeah that’s how things are going with that. But I’m extremely lucky to have the friends I have. Meghan and Leah are doing everything they can to help and I can’t imagine doing this without their help and support. Additionally, the girls here are all super helpful, and I’ve only known them for a month.
So yeah, adulthood so far has been me fumbling around like a toddler with poor motor skills accidentally getting asked to be part of threesomes trying to plan a wedding with a 5-6 hour time difference between me and everyone important I need to talk to. I don’t know everything (or anything some days), and I can’t eat, sleep, buy, or do what/when I want. What I have learned however, is that it’s okay to ask questions and lean on people. The people you love will always be there to help you, even after you’re 18 and a so called adult.
People will hold your hand even when you’re not really a toddler, even if it might be sticky and gross.